Thoughts resurfaced

Have you ever been surprised that you are still living? Strange question, I know. I was always excited to become another year older and it almost shocked me. In my mind I was the hopeless romantic even though I didn't let on. Scenes of dying young of cancer or some strange and rare disease would make their way through my mind always with a boyfriend by my side who was crying with a deep sadness. I filled my own ego and my worth to the brim. And then I  would feel bad for the people I was leaving behind and how much they would miss me. I would consider all the wonderful things that would be said about me and everything that I had selflessly done for everyone else. They would look at my photos and remember me. They would cry.
Yeah, I was selfish. I had an incredibly high opinion about myself. Thankfully I didn't die and sometimes I wonder why, because I was so stupid.
God is good.
Now I have a man in my life, my husband, that truly loves me, even on my miserable and grumpy days.
More than that, God has always loved me. He was offering the unconditional love to me all along. He loved me when I was being a selfish young woman. He cared for me. He still cares for me. Why do we ignore God so often? We should be delighted to remember  his love and his presence.

“Seek the LORD, All you humble of the earth Who have carried out His ordinances; Seek righteousness, seek humility Perhaps you will be hidden In the day of the LORD'S anger.”
-Zephaniah 2:3

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